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Weak Ass

In honor of my hundredth post, I give you the latest and greatest on my Adventures in Healthcare. 

This Wednesday I found myself getting XRays in Kirkland. I highly suggest you invest in Philips (PHG) as they apparently outfit every machine in that office, including the XRay machines. The technician was all work and no play right up until the end, when she handed me the “customer feedback” form: then I got a smile. I’m not judging, I know people can be a pain and I’m sure I was just one of many bodies she’d have to fry that day. They did give me an awesome lead triangle-shaped apron to wear to protect my ovaries, so that’s good.

The XRays are to discover if there’s anything ELSE wrong with my knees (than what have been discovered thus far), and if I do indeed have a left leg longer than my right. I’m kind of excited to know, it will make for a great conversation starter at a party. I just need to know the precise delta for full effect. Here’s hoping I get it in millimeters or centimeters or what have you.

Shortly after XRays I went to my first Physical Therapy appointment, where there were no Bulgarian Split Squats but there was a lot of IT Band massaging (which is not as fun as it sounds), some electrode-wielding (I think I posted about that already, yes it was painful, yes I have to keep doing it), and some McConnel taping tutorial (basically: tape my kneecaps to where they’re SUPPOSED to be and that will train the muscles around them to behave as they should so essentially they’ll eventually go where they’re supposed to be on their own. I think.)

The appointments continue: there’s a bike fitting appointment, an orthotic fitting appointment, 12 more physical therapy appointments, a follow up doctor visit, and that is just if the Xrays do NOT find anything new. There will also have to be new running shoe buying, for which I have a chart completed by the PT, and I plan to indicate all the fun of shopping at FootZone. I hate shopping.

For those interested: the official diagnosis, thus far, is Patellofemoral Syndrome, and Patellar Tendinitis. Other comments from the PT:

  • My Iliotibial Band (IT Band) is so tight you can twang it.
  • I have a weak gluteus medius and a weak gluteus maximus (translation? I have a weak ass, because my quads and hamstrings have been doing all of the work)
  • My patella tracks laterally instead of neutrally

Of course, all I hear is that I have a weak ass.